13. Dark Canyon. It’s a canyon. It’s dark. Boo.
12. Lost Lake. The Forest Service and some Western Slope Conservation Center volunteers rebuilt a bridge and did trail maintenance up there this summer, so you won’t get lost at Lost Lake.
11. Deadman’s Gulch. You’ll find this one out by Crested Butte. I don’t have a picture for this one, so send us one if you go . . . if you make it back alive . . .
9. Deadhorse Trail. Stay on your hooves and watch out for the ghosts of horses who’ve fallen in the Black Canyon.
8. Devil’s Overlook. Last time I was there, I overheard a couple of German tourists yammering away in Deutsch, and then switch to English to say, “Scheisse, man! That is really steep.” Fear knows no language.
6. Needle Rock. This one made the list because it’s deceptively easy to get scraped up on this trail. After hiking this trail, our friend Mary reminded me of the #1 rule of adventuring: “Scars or it didn’t happen.”
5. Devil’s Thumb. Of all of the Devil’s body parts, the thumb is definitely the spookiest.
4. Ridge of Doom. Our local mountain biker friends don’t want Jumbo to get too crowded, so they give the trails ominous names like this.
3. Desolation Ridge. Seriously, how is Jumbo becoming such a popular bike destination with names like this?!
2. Terror Trail. This time of year, the biggest terror is trying to navigate through the cows on your way to the trailhead. Daisy the Cow don’t give no cow patties that you have 4WD. Moo.
1. Oh-Be-Joyful Pass. More like Oh-Be-Suspicious. Why was this given such a pleasant name? What are they trying to hide? Who is this joyful? I smell a conspiracy.